ENOUGH!!!!!!!!

I never rant. I've always believed that silence has the power to convey a thousand words but it never occurred to me that I too have the power to break it. So let me break my silence, just for once.

I never thought that "enough" would be the hardest word I'll ever encounter. The meaning is simple yet I find it difficult to comprehend. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe that's what you get when you spend your life proving something yet the people you intend to prove it to don't notice it at all. Or worse, they don't care. That's why I don't know what "enough" is coz every time I exert great efforts to obtain something, it will all seem mundane in the end. All my life, I gave in to the consuming demands of what I must do and what I'm expected to do. It's not that I regret who I am now, it's just that.. I don't know if the person I've become is the same person I've always wanted to be. I'm so lost and so confused. I feel unable almost like being in a stalemate.

Maybe I have to believe that there's a reason for everything. Maybe it's a good thing that I lived up to others expectations rather than my own. But as sentient as a human being could possibly get, I have to admit that I'm not capable of understanding everything.. that at some point, I get tired too. I just hope that this sudden impasse is temporary.

To further damage my already "deflected" self-esteem are the people who make calumnies their ticket to castigate me. I do know that everyone is entitled to make their own judgment but I believe that a person should be judged by her motives rather than her actions. I don't intend to display a clean slate. I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes. But cowardly brandishing your judgment in my absence is as wicked as striking me while I'm defenseless. Adhering to it is an unjustifiable infirmity I am struggling to get out of. I hope you acquire strength and a sense of respect to disclose whatever you want NOT BEHIND MY BACK but IN MY FACE. I think no one will enlighten you better than myself.

I'm done. I've had enough.

It's time for me to choose my own path, my own dreams and not live with what others think of me or what I should be.

Enough is enough.