Uncertain Uncertainty

Well.. sad to say. The love story of Maia and Mart ended.. before it even started.

What happened?

LIFE happened.

I don't know what to believe in anymore. I've witnessed so many failed relationships.. So many lovers who can't even be friends.


Maia and Mart somehow gave me hope in believing that true love does exist..
that in a world where everything is supposed to be absolute, there will always be an exception..
that right is not always right.. and wrong is not always wrong..
that not all things need reasons..
that not all things are meant to be uttered.. and that some things are simply meant to be felt.


I don't know how Maia really feels and I can't really write something about it. I don't want to be prejudicial. I can't write something I haven't experienced yet.

But I can write about Mart coz in a way, I can relate to him.

Dude, if you're reading this right now, I feel you man. You know my story.

I have buried the feelings a long time ago, but it doesn't mean it stopped shouting from its grave. Sometimes it still does.. like right now.

I have felt the aching numbness.. the cold..

There were those times that I can't cry. I don't know if I don't care anymore or if I'm just used to it.

I know how it feels to risk everything for something you know will truly make you happy.. for someone who's worth it all.. and in the end, it just wasn't enough.. and you don't have anyone to blame but yourself.. you can't blame her for your pain coz what you did wasn't demanded of you.. but was of your own choosing.

The funny part is, when all is said and done, no matter how motivated you are to move on with your life and just escape from the bitter pangs of it all, one smile, one look.. is what all it takes to banish what you thought could be permanently adamant.

This is gonna take a while.

But after this, you'll feel better.. stronger. I assure you that.
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To Maia, I'm here for you as well. I may not know what you're going through but I'm sure that it pretty sucks too.

I just hope that with whatever decisions you had to do, you didn't do it to "right the wrong".. or to remain complacent with your old life.. I hope you did it coz it's something you truly believe in and that it's gonna make you happy. That's what matters.

Maia and Mart. I'll always be here for the both of you. I love you. :)
You can do this. :)

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Gosh.. I guess I just have to find another reason to believe in the uncertain..
not in other people.. but in myself.